HI! Its me JULIE writing.

Sooooooo…Not to Lez it out too much but I need to vent my lesbionic rage here, and since we’re all family n shit….Where else would be better??!!   So, this new show ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK has been touted on all the Lez sites and everyone is going on and on and on and on about this damn show. I, of course wanted to rebel and not watch one second of it in some sort of –  I stand alone rebellion and don’t tell me what to do stubborn lezness – and more importantly – how could I not even get an audition for this !? ( hand to chest – mouth a gape)  I’m so insulted. but let’s put petty, jealousy aside :-)

I gotta watch – I mean, everyone keeps saying theres all this hot lezaction and its women in PRISON for gods sake!  But I stayed away as long as I could and then broke down.  Brandy and I hunkered down to watch the entire series on netflix in one viewing with a bowl of salad, toll house cookies, and a vile of pills.  ( we thought we would review it for IN YOUR BOX OFFICE)  We took our negative energy, washed it down with a pain killer (s) and hunkered down, and you know what? I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! This show is a piece of fucking shit.  I AM so ANNOYED!  I’m still in such an annoyed state I couldnt articulate my thoughts clearly so I hijacked a review I found and want to thank you BRIGET for summing up all my feelings in this wonderfully crafted review which is 100 times better than the entire series and wish we could make the review into a new series.  ( I know I have bad grammar – deal with it) harumph.  stomp, stomp, stomp.  I am so disappointed and bummed out that the one thing with lesbians,  in it AGAIN is terrible. I could forgive every cliche, tired stereotype and shitty acting if any of it was FUNNY or DRAMATIC or STOOD FOR SOMETHING, except cliches, tired sterotypes and shitty acting.  stomp, stomp, stomp





“This show commodifies lesbianism in the worst, most misogynistic ways– by using it as an “edgy” selling point to tip the show from drama to soap opera. It’s full of hackneyed tropes: until I leave all girls school lesbian (Lorna), fat butch lesbian (Big Boo), desirable waifish femme lesbian (Mercy, Lorna), couture European lesbian (Alex), the Stud (Nicky, Big Boo), and of course, Piper the hasbian who I guess just can’t be a bisexual because she fell in monogamous love with a man. (Even though who she’s with has NOTHING to do with whether she’s bisexual, but there’s the myth of the “hasbian” for you). As with the characters of color, these demographic tropes play a huge role in presumed pre-developed characters that settle into the issued stereotypes like a foundation, rather than defying them. Piper’s “former gayness” authenticates queerness for the straight population in the same way her whiteness does w/regard to POC criminalization. Piper is less of an “other” in mainstream America’s eyes & the show admits it, but then plays on it. The show commodifies POCs and queers and, it commodifies them in the SAME way, with the voyeuristic titillating spectacle of “lesbian sex” and hype of “black and latino violence”. With less packaging, you could see the same thing on “bum fights” or “girls gone wild”, both filmed and perpetuated for the entertainment of privileged, ignorant, straight white men. The show doesn’t really even attempt a simple role reversal where racial minorities are represented as queer and the white inmates are represented as violent– it’d still be a token effort, but nope, not even that. I watched this series trying to reconcile it, trying to decide whether I liked it or not because hey, a queer, woman and POC dominated cast, but in the end I realize that it’s *about* us, not *for* us.” ~Bridget



We trashed the idea of reviewing this for IYBO because it seems we are in the minority with our hatred and didnt want to waste our minty breathe and precious time.

32 thoughts on “ORANGE IS THE NEW (WHACK)!

  1. yay! I have side-eyed this mess like holiday fruitcake and refused to watch. I dunno I worked in a prison. It was so.fucking.depressing. like where hope goes to die depressing. and the constant feeling of everything teetering on the brink of all-hell-breaking-loose and the palpable silent rage and violence seething just below the surface of everything–like the way heat warps the air right above it. well it was heart-breaking, frightening and eye-opening. And this, this slick, sanitized orange thing with a blondie at the center seems like a mockery of the effed-uppedness of prison.

  2. Thank you! I thought there was something wrong with me when I hated this show, and I didn’t even invest as much time in it as you did. I am a straight, but gay-loving, mom of three, and I was uncomfortable with how roles and stereotypes were shown in the show (and I mean “show”, because I only watched one episode!). I found it really creepy, frankly, and I’m no prude. Julie, thank you for validating my feelings, you gave me the credibility I needed to admit that I hate this show. Good for you for speaking your mind!

  3. Not only did I watch OITNB series once, but twice. I enjoyed not only show but the stories behind why these women were in prison to begin with. I think the viewers are focusing too much on Piper and Alex and not on the conditions and lives these women were going through. Lack of education programmes, support programmes and even the track being closed were issues that seemed to get passed over. I’d advise everyone to read Piper Kierman’s book and take a different look at the show.

  4. Well, if you watched the entire season, you would have seen character development (I know! what a shocker!), a really wonderful character arc, stereotypes turned on their ass and a really compelling story about how prison “rehabilitation” isn’t. But, that would require you to put aside your biases, your pseudo-intellectual angst and your rebellious-for-no-fucking-good-reason attitude. Oh. And, if you’re going to write a review, stoop to actually learning spelling, grammar and construction of meaningful paragraphs.

  5. Dear Ryan,
    We watched all 12 episodes and what was missing was tone. It wasn’t dramatic enough and it wasn’t funny enough. And, not for nothing, but we shouldn’t have to sit thru 12 episodes to get character development. A truly good series catches u with amazing, authentic, funny, complicated and interesting characters in the very first episode. If this show was on TV and people had to make an appointment each week to sit down and watch it- no one would have come back after episode 1. And guess what? THAT’S WHY IT WASN’T ON TV!

  6. I’m so over people using grammar as some kind of badge of intelligence or judgement. Don’t demean my fucking feelings because I lack punctuation.

    Hey Ryan- How’s this for grammar?
    Go fuck yourself. Period

    • God I love you Julie… you too Brandy :). It must be tough to be right about every goddamned thing ever. This show was absolute shit and completely unwatchable by episode 3 or 4. Rampant stereotyping and pandering aside, There is no excuse to show Lea DeLaria fucking herself with a screw driver… EVER. EVER! Just stop.

      Also simplistic flashbacks does not a well developed character make. It does however bore me to tears.

      I hate that you opted out of reviewing this for In Your Box Office. I miss you guys. I miss the rantings AND the feelings. <3

  7. : ) Julie and Brandy just a heads up…. you will find the lesbian commenters at autostraddel are a lot easier to deal with than gay dudes on any given blog. Buckle up gals …..

  8. I’ve never seen the show in the UK – but I love that people are so defensive of it and it got even one comment defending it. Chill out people – it’s an opinion piece – Julie and Brandy can love or hate whatever they like – it doesn’t mean you have to. I would like to see more of what Julie and Brandy love/hate – I just love the reaction! Xx

  9. I watched the entire first season. Mostly because my friend Laverne Cox is in it. I probably wouldn’t have went anywhere near it otherwise. I thought it was OK. It wasn’t the best series I’ve ever seen but there were elements that I did like about it. I felt the characterization was a little underdeveloped and sometimes you would’ve definitely caught me saying “Oh, Come On” to the screen. I would give it 3 out of 5 stars and most of those stars is for having an openly transexual actress actually play a transexual in a serious role with depth. That’s a big step for Hollywood.

  10. First, let me say YEAAAA! I am so happy Julie and Brandy are here, every day on Gayest of All time is like Christmas. Second, there is too much good TV and too little time (good being a subjective term) So I’ll just Google Laura Prepon topless, take Orange is the new Black and catch up on all my back episodes of Top Model, Project Runway, Best Ink and Top Chef.

  11. *sigh*

    I watched the whole season and although I (mostly) enjoyed the show, it took me 3-4 episodes to warm up to it and ultimately, everything that’s said in this post is true. Will that prevent me from watching it or encouraging people to watch it? Probably not.

  12. I said it before and I’ll say it again.. This show would be amazing if there were no men, no past heterosexuality, no dialogue and way more dyke sex.. Let’s face it, The sex is the only fucking reason we watch the show.

  13. Gay nerd chime in time…Captain Janeway (Kate Mulgrew) drops the F-bomb…a lot! Oh, it warmed the cockles of ma ❤! That being said, Julie and Brandie, I agree. That was the ONLY thing I enjoyed. The show didn’t grab me. Stereotypes and underdeveloped characters put me in a state of grudge watching around the 5th episode.

  14. I’ve caught bits and pieces of Orange Is the New Black on YouTube. After a few clips I decided it wasn’t for me. The show seems so predictable, especially the whole Piper and Alex saga. Call me crazy, but I’m sick of investing my time supporting queer female couples when shows do very little to return the favor. Most mainstream writers don’t know the difference between a lesbian and a bisexual woman. Actually, I take that back. When it comes time to make a character the brunt of a joke, a psycho, or the victim of a homicide then lesbians come flying out of the wood work. It’s old and I’m over it. Not to mention, the UK already had a wonderful television show about women in prison. Does anybody remember Bad Girls? I’ll take Nikki and Helen over these two any day of the week. At the end of the day, you like what you like. Just because I don’t care for it doesn’t mean I’ll hold it against anyone that does. I’ll just have to go into hiding when the show fucks up and all the angry gay ladies demand blood. You know it’s coming, you just don’t know when.

  15. Soooo….Sophia isn’t queer? Crazy Eyes? Pensatucky and Piper are pacifists? I mean, think what you want, fine, it’s not exactly revolutionary, or even particularly smart, but don’t just bullshit so you have something to whine about.

  16. Sooooohooo… I won’t even get into the whole grammar debate b/c this is the web or whatever. But I will pose this simple question: Just because Lesbos don’t like the show diminishes its cultural worth? That seems to be the message I’m reading in some of the comments. So it was made to titillate straight white men, so what? I’m a gay, brown male and I loved the show for all the drama and interpersonal story. “Actual” lesbians are not always entertaining (‘cept Julie, natch) in my opinion. It is like the way Jack from “Will & Grace” drove me up the wall and everyone else talked about what a “groundbreaking” show it was. (Insert barf sound here.) it is all personal taste based on personal experience. I will close by saying for those of you who hated it where are your project pitches, bitches? Put-up or… oh, I love ya’ll too much to finish that one.

    • Call out culture! That was a pretty stupid thing to say on a blog full of comedians. Also, I’m not sure this article was supposed to be hilarious. Don’t be rude.

    • Please go and enjoy Nadya – – You should go enjoy people you like. We do this shit for free, and for fun, and I expressed my feelings and didn’t personally attack anyone doing it. So, since there is nothing funny here or entertaining to you, please go ahead and get the fuck on out of my house.

    • Please go and enjoy Nadya – – You should go enjoy people you like. We do this shit for free, and for fun, and I expressed my feelings and didn’t personally attack anyone doing it. So, since there is nothing funny here or entertaining to you, please go ahead and get the fuck on out of my house.

      • Julie is so great. Thanks for blogging, Julie! We know from the podcast that you aren’t super into the idea of posting, so it’s a crazy treat to read your stuff. The children are grateful for the relief from the daily grind that comes in the form of your *stellar* and hilar creative work.

  17. I, for one, am so happy for this chance to interact with Julie, Brandy, Jonny, Adam, Linda, et al. The podcast has brought me countless hours of joy. Julie, I am PROUD to be ON Team Goldman! Shake em off. The haters are UNPROFESSIONAL, guurl.

  18. Julie and Brandi: Can you ladies write a blog post about Blue is the Warmest Color and Concussion? Those are two of the most recent lesbian-themed films I can think of that have generated a bit of controversy. I dunno, I’m a gay male who is pretty sick of seeing lesbian themed stuff that clearly has the lusty eye of the heterosexual male demographic primarily in mind when you see how it is executed. For once I’d like to see a film populated by run-of-the-mill looking lesbians who come off as true to life instead of the same hackneyed tropes of the ultra high femme who can’t leave the house without stilettos and false eyelashes and whose libido is always amped up to eleven. Either that or the one-dimensional, neutered stone butch minstrel whose only function is to make us laugh or elicit ridicule.

    Gawker had a pretty cool article a few weeks back of a gay man interviewing a lesbian woman on her thoughts about the extremely graphic sex scenes in “Blue”. She actually liked it and explained in reasonable detail how she came to her conclusions. Then there is also a video on YouTube of a small handful of gay women reacting to the sex scenes and it’s actually pretty funny.

    Finally, I’ve heard multiple gay women compare “Concussion” to “Blue” saying that while Blue did well at the Cannes film festival, Concussion is better in that it was made by lesbians (alumnae of the L Word, I believe) for lesbians and that you don’t feel the male gaze in it the way you do with Blue, which had a male director. That said — and mind you I have only seen the trailer — it’s hard to take the premise seriously (bored lesbian homemaker goes behind her wife’s back to become a prostitute to a large array of super sexy lesbians and bisexual women, who, despite being way above average in the looks department, somehow need to pay for sex).

    I just don’t get it. I understand that we as queer people are singled out because of our minority sexualities and that our queer identities revolve around the ways we select partners and make love, but are we so shallow as a society that we can’t have a gay/lesbian drama where the central theme isn’t prefaced on providing a platform for an audience to ogle gay people having sex?

    Maybe someone at Gayest Of All Time could do a poll eliciting readers’ suggestions of their favorite representations of queerness in the media? My two absolute favorite representations of gay males are Keith and David in Six Feet Under (the Alan Ball-created HBO series from the early 2000s) I loved that series!! And I also loved the French film The Adventures of Felix, which I think Julie and Brandi might like if they don’t mind subtitles. Ma vie En Rose, a Belgian (I think) film about a young kid coming into her trans identity very early in life was beautiful. But I can’t say I have a favorite lesbian themed film, not for lack of seeking one out, but there appears to be a dearth of genuine, well-developed lesbian characters IMHO. Someone needs to get on that. LOL

    Anyway, love you guys. Keep kicking up shit ladies!

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